Blindsighted.......

Have you ever had a friend pull the wool over your eyes? Or at least try to? And if they did, when did you decide to still be their friend or to leave them behind? I'm experiencing this right now. My friend was very secretive about a situation she was in, and while I knew she wasn't being honest with me, I still stuck by her side and gave her the benefit of the doubt. But it seems she just can't swallow her pride long enough to realize. That and the fact that I know she's embarassed about the whole thing. And she wasn't the only one involved. There was a second party who was not as innocent as they make themselves out to be and they were actually both in the wrong....but how do you reach out and still not get too involved? I guess I just feel that I'm above this. I know it sounds conceited, but, c'mon; I'm not in high school anymore. I feel like I have enough problems of my own and I have more important things to worry about. I've tried to talk to this girl, but I'm still not getting anywhere. Isn't it strange how people act. I've know this person for over a year and I feel like I don't know her as well as I thought I did. It just makes me think of the degrees of friendship. You know, the acquintance, the work only friend, the school-only friend, your circle of friends, and your best friend. I guess I just thought that I knew her, but then again, I do know her and knew she would react to the situation the way she did and thats why I can separate myself from it....becuase I can't change whats been done, just like she can't and nobody else can.

Lately I've been thinking about environments. Environments (or maybe surroudings) that people put themselves in. I just really believe that one of the problems with people is that they don't place themselves in good environments. I work with some people that I hung out with the other night and after I left, I was told that they were doing some stuff that I don't particularly approve of. And it just made me think......Why do people get themselves in these situations? Speaking from experience, I know I did it becuase of insecurity and on the other hand, security. I've felt insecure and thought I had nothing to lose and couldn't do any better; or thought I was a better or cooler because of the people I was around, but its not true. Because now that I feel more secure with myself, I know I don't have to be around things and people I don't want to. No one can make you feel better about yourself except yourself. Its cliche I know, but honestly, if you want a better life, go get it. And if people are bringing you down, don't keep placing yourself among those people.

On a lighter note, now that I've finally made an advancement in technology, I'm totally into my ipod. Its so wonderful to have music right there with you all the time and then to have so much access to it. So with that, I recently bought the John Mayer album, Continuum, and its wonderful. Its amazing how music can be so relateable. I just love it............